I have talked about this before to some people, and I while I am not real sure how they took it, I know it made them think. Something happened at lunch today that was pretty funny, and it touched on this topic so I thought I would share.
I was sitting at the DQ just down the road from the office eating lunch in the truck. I wanted to listen to the radio while I ate so I often do this. I looked up and there was a van load of kids getting out to go inside and of the 8 teens, 7 had cell phones in various states of use. One had just answered theirs, two were talking as they got out and the rest were either texting or doing some other activity that required the use of their hands.
The girl in the back of this group was the one that caught my eye, see, she was the only one that didn’t zig or zag with the group as they made their way towards the door and miss the light pole in the middle of the really wide walkway. Then, SMACK, followed by another SMACK! The first was her head hitting the pole as she walked into it and the second was her butt hitting the ground. Yes, I was busting a gut laughing so hard.
After they disappeared inside to get their lunch and hopefully a bag of ice for that girls head, I was reminded of a discussion I had one day with a group of people. The topic came up of teens and cell phones. I didn’t have one growing up, although before I was out of high school they were more common. My teen doesn’t have one now but has asked about it. When the 6 year old reaches that teen status, he’s not going to have one either.
I made the comment once to a group that teens don’t need cell phones. I was abruptly stopped and had it explained to me by one of the ladies “My daughter needs one so that I can keep up with where she is and what she’s doing”. Really? That cell phone has the GPS tracking function enabled? You check the records EVERY month? You can tell by a simple call where she is, how many and who she is around and if there are drugs or alcohol present? Come on now.
My next comment allowed me to feel what a mother’s laser eyes burning through me felt like. I rebutted “I choose to parent at the reach of an arm and not the touch of a button”. Man, could she stare. I also let people know that one of the many problems with kids today is that their parents want to be their children’s friends, and secondly their parents. This lady’s teen didn’t ‘need’ a cell phone. What business could any teen be conducting that they ‘need’ a cell phone for. She ‘wants’ a cell phone and momma ‘wants’ to be the good friend and give it to her.
Now when I have uttered this conversation they always throw out a litany of reasons to have one. Car crashes (which by the way, tons of Wetumpka youth have no business behind the wheel), needing to be picked up from a function, just to talk, to talk to their friends, everyone has one these days, what if they are abducted, what if they need an ambulance, what if their in trouble. All of which I explain away and remind them that there are plenty of phones in this world now and ‘your’ child really doesn’t ‘need’ that phone. This usually leads to frustration and the end of the conversation.
My point here is I was never in a car accident because I was texting, I was never admonished at school for having my phone out, I never ran up a high bill because I was talking to everyone everywhere, and I certainly never ran into a pole because I was preoccupied with a phone in my hands. As a society we have given teens and younger, more and more responsibility with less and less check and balances. Our parents knew where we were 90% of the time and there was no cell phone involved. It was because they decided to parent at the reach of an arm, and not a touch of the button. Too many times I have stood on the side of the road late at night working an accident scene of a youngster who has died or been maimed, just to find out that they were suppose to be at someone’s house hanging out. But Daddy just called and checked on me so it’s ok? I feel as a society that we have the same responsibility to make sure that the kids of today learn what is needed to run this country later, just as our parents did. After all, not too many years down the road the ones we are teaching now, will be the ones taking care of us then.
PS – for those of you that let you kids drink in front of you because “I don’t want them to sneak off and do it”, your being fooled there too.
I am not going to argue the phone thing with you because I see your point although mine do have phones. I just want to say that I tell my son the same thing my mom use to tell me about being honest about where you are, how you are getting there and what time you will be home. I tell him, " I want to know what ditch to look in and what time to start looking." After thinking that over, he has decided the same thing I did at that age. He wants me to know what ditch to look in and where to start looking. Recently, he had checked in with an adult about where he would be and when he would be back to her house but being she is an elderly great grandmother she woke up and had no recollection of the conversation and called me scared. Ofcourse the cell phone was pointless because electronics have battery issues sometime and his would not charge. Luckily I had a Good idea where he was and had him in front of me within about 30 minutes. Now ofcourse we have an understanding that it is important that his dad or I personally know when he has started watching a movie late and will be late getting back where he belongs. I think I scared him when I told him I needed to know whether to start dragging the River. I do agree that there is no substitution for good parenting.
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