Auburn / Alabama and Thanksgiving

There have been fist fights, there have been divorces, and last year there were even two murders. Yes, it’s true; check it all out if you wish. My God, what could Steve be talking about this time you may ask yourself? Auburn/Alabama, Iron Bowl, Grid Iron Guts, a football game.

That’s just it too; it really is just a game. Those of you that know me know I am an Auburn fan through and through. I know people who root for Alabama in the same way. I have sat back and watched both sides and both schools have their fanatics, their over the top people, their rude people, their classy people. At the end of the day, when it’s all said and done, it’s still just a game. A game of heart though, a game that has had its high points, and its low points. A game that happens once a year and a game that will live in infamy.

The game will go on, just like life will. Each team will win and lose many more times in the decades and centuries to come. Bragging rights will be lost and gained, and young adults will be shaped into grown men. There will be people call in sick to work Monday, and many Mondays after this. Families will be split, friends will cease to exist, and as you can see from last year people may even die. The game will go on though, long after even all of that.

Enjoy the game, I will. Enjoy your family and friends as they come to watch it with you. Enjoy the tailgating food, fun and camaraderie. At the end of the day even though this is a life changing game, remember it is just that, a game played between two of the greatest schools in the greatest conference in college history.

Public Humiliation of a Wetumpka Seven Year Old

Something happened on November 3rd involving our son Ryan. I have to leave some specifics out right now as the organization involved is still working through their process for correcting the issue. Also we have no problem with the Organization, its offerings to the public or the way in which they have handled this so far. Our issue is with the person in charge of the after school program and the choice of discipline used.

The Set Up – there was a game being played and in the process the entire group was sat down for the bad actions of only a few. During this time Ryan was bullied to interrupt the adult that was admonishing the group, to ask if they could go back to playing. Now we as parents don’t condone his actions even though it was peer pressure, he indeed should be corrected because he should not interrupt. These two and Ryan were not involved as the original problem and did not understand this group punishment tactic and quite frankly I think it’s a poor management tool as well. (Keep in mind that this is not the only bullying incident that has happened there in the last year, there are numerous accounts).

The Result – Because Ryan gave in to peer pressure and the other two were the instigators, the adult decided they would all be suspended for two days, for being disrespectful. Even after admitting that Ryan was pressured into this, the adult still punished him. Now just a few weeks ago another child had been suspended for two days for choking two children almost to unconsciousness. So by punishing these actions to the same level, the director of the after school program just equalized being mouthy, speaking out of turn, or disrespectful to the same level as trying to physically inflict pain. Just as a foot note, Ryan was asked what disrespectful means by me and based on his answer I assure you that he did not understand their word for punishing him. Better explaining to him his actions might have solved the problem.

The Punishment – Because we were out of town, the Director of the after school program determined that it would be unfair for Ryan to be suspended for the two days. So instead of calling us to discuss it, and here comes the meat of this, Ryan was forced to sit in the foyer of the building and wear a sign that said “I am mean to other children” and “I do not listen to any adult at the (omitted)”. He was placed in the main thoroughfare for all of the many people parading in and out to see him. This was to be for a time period totaling 5+ hours over two days. Needless to say someone came through that had huge issues with this discipline and made a call to the main office, the next day the sign was gone however the 3 hour time out continued.

My punishment opinions for adults notwithstanding, this type of public ridicule, humiliation, hazing, degrading, demeaning or defaming punishment should never be used on an adolescent for any reason. Since returning to town and finding out all of this, we have expressed our great distain and disappointment to the organization and the CEO and COO of the parent organization. As of penning this column today, the program director has been suspended pending a further investigation and we are waiting for the due diligence to run its course. What we still have not gotten is an apology from the director or the organization. They have committed to keeping us informed through the process.

Well, that’s great, and I certainly appreciate their intent to keep us up to date. In the meantime Ryan is horrified to go back to the facility for multiple reasons including the fact that try as you might, there will be animosity now between all of the adults involved with this. In the meantime the thought that there is a person in charge of children that will publically degrade and mentally abuse them is unfathomable to us. This person should immediately lose their employment with the organization. Having them stand outside of the building on her last day wearing a sign that says “I torment children in public by making them wear signs, and now I have been fired” may be a nice touch. Practice what you preach.

This organization has spent 166 years lifting up youth and building character. However there is no room for this kind of higher than thou behavior from adults in an organization that prides itself on bettering the mind, spirit and body. Anyone that would engage in this type of humiliation of a child and justify it in their own mind dare not call themselves an educator or mentor.

That’s where we stand, what say you?